Bird Flu Madness

Wow. These last few days have been so full of pickle ice and complete hectic madness that we’ve lost our way and haven’t had time to report. Big News around the wandering desert….. Dirt fools keep trying to wander into our domain of being but we’re keeping strong with the hip shake and the back hand springs.

 Recently, some dramatic happens have caused the lives of two young soul nuggets to be drained of all wellness, will and physical attributes. Our mother of the soul garden, keeper of all the land, mother of all the gypsies and prophet of the unknown has returned. Antartica, mother of snow peas, first made an entrance in the lives of the Stream and Dealer when they needed to teach lessons to ones that needed lessons to be taught. Once entering the wandering desert, you must keep in mind that Stream and Dealer are the keepers of all that is real, all that is hip-shaking and everything wonderous. No fart huffing allowed! So when young soul nuggets enter our land and disturb our flu-like symptoms….. they must know they will be punished! Not by us…. but by our mother, keeper of all, keeper of Us.

Antartica proclaims,
“THINNER!!”

 Two young soul nuggets reduced to dirt.

We hope you’ve learned your lesson. 

I know it is a shock to everyone. But when you get the itch, you have one man to talk to and that’s Sloth Dealer!

…..As the thunder rolls on, the beats become overwhelming. The avid followers cannot stand to be away from the aura of the bird flu madness. Sloth Dealer invites fellow gurus on the stage as the beauty continues. On the left is Arch Bishop, bishop of the Wandering Stone. Sloth Dealer made the Bishop open his pink satchel and, magesticly, an amazing licorice man named Todd appeared. Sloth Dealer thought quick and consulted Cougar Stream. “I think it’s time.”, He said. “Bishop, reach into your tube and bestow us with that which is Pickle Ice!!!!!!”

 All of a sudden, Cougar Stream thought he would explode! He is part of another world!! He gave into the Pickle Ice and created not only the second strain of the avian bird flu, but also the third! Just as sick and just as powerful as the first. Rapidly, the dancing increased. Baby mommas, pedestrians, wolves, Cujo and all of the other amazing dirt fools wanted to feel the power of the Pickle Ice. But No! They cannot.

Todd was so spastic with excitement that his magical licorice suit caught the eye of DJ Key Key. He could not keep far from giving into the licorice suit and needed just one bite. Just then, Todd ripped off all of the licorice and began playing the most beautiful music anyone in the world has ever heard. Even the dirt fools couldn’t get enough. The music was so beautiful that not even one dirt fool should have ever heard it. The licorice melted into the ground, causing Todd to binge on pickle ice and disappear into the dark, musty desert…. never to be seen again.

R.I.P.
Licorice King Todd,
your beautiful music will be remembered through us all

…..to be continued 

While frolicking in the barren matter of that which is the desert, We come across some dirt fools trying to mess with our Chi. They go by the names Atlantis, Skytrain and Jupiter. They were all born with these names so they have been dirt fools for life. They are not carriers of the avian bird flu, but they are very jealous of sickness caused by being a carrier. They rode in on wild boars eating popcorn and talking in a gypsy dialect.

Tude started flaring…. Sickness was instantly trying to be taken from the masters of disaster. We wanted nothing to do with these popcorn gypsies. We leaned over to our man DJ Key Key and he layed out the sickest beat in all of the land.
(Music: Styx - Come Sail Away)

We declared that if the gypsy monsters could not dance to this, they would never dance to anything!! We shunned them back into the dark and unknown desert with the rest of the eclectic non-carriers. This will teach these lepers!! 

Our party is going hella well. Folks from all around the globe have come to try and take us and our sick ass dance moves down but we will never let them! We can never stop!

Bird Flu Madness productions presents……..

Cougar Stream
Sloth Dealer

feat. 

DJ Key Key

Location: as far into the desert as you can wander…… you’ll find us……..
Time: Always
 

Sloth Dealer and Cougar Stream
Part 1: Deals and Streams


These boys here are some of the greatest event planners in the world these days…
but just imagine……..
their first attempt at throwing out some sick parties…….
but need to tell the begining before we get to the big time!



These boys met up on the east side of H-tizzle. It was very often you saw two brothers walking towards
eachother on these streets. But it also wasn’t very often you saw a sloth and a cougar on these
streets either.
-Sloth yells out “Yo slice you bout’ to step where i might be walkin’?”
-“You call that slow ass move a walk?, more like ” Cougar Replies
-“Sloth interupts “Really, you throwing down!?”
-“If throwing down means, i get out my hour glass out and wait then yeah!” Roars Cougar.
-“I know you ain’t got the pounce to make it?” Sloth smirks.

Before you know it the streets are full. Like before, not everyday you see two brothers walking
down the streets, but you get local brothers like Sloth and Cougar in the streets ready to shake it,
the whole town is going to show up.

The crowd starts getting loud chanting for the brothers, “”COUGAR, SLOTH, COUGAR, SLOTH”“

Sloth steps up first and says “Little Key-Key, drop that shit, before everyone explodes”
    (MUSIC: JUSTICE-D.A.N.C.E)

Move after move, spin after spin, Sloth throws it all out!
        (For a sloth he can really move)
    These sick move go for about 3 minutes and he yells “Yo KEYKEY cut it!” (Arms Folded)

That crowd explodes in shear joy and love for the once thought to be slow (suprisingly fast moves) Sloth.

Cougar is feeling it now with all the excitment, he needs to pull something really huge off.


Cougar pounces out and says “KEY KEY you know what i need drop it!”
    (MUSIC: M.I.A.- $20)
ONE TO TWO TO THREE TO FOUR….Cougar throws it out just as fast and hard as sloth did, and makes
the crowd love as much as before. Cougar’s moves are sick and new, he doesn’t know where they came
from but he throws them down like he has been for years.
    In about the same fashion Cougar Roar “KEY KEY!” (Music Stops)(Cougar in a comfortable position on the ground)

CROWD loves it….the a just going so crazy over the new brothers in town. Old streets with new Brothers.

The Crowd keeps whispering to each other.
        “Old streets with new blood, that’s what we need”
        “Old streets with new blood, that’s what we need”

With the crowd in a turvey KEY KEY tries to find out the real winning….polls are set up on every block
of the town, but the votes need to be casted fast before there is a riot!
Finally, three hours a counting and waiting, counting and waiting, the results are in:

KEY KEY steps up with the annoucement, “with 32,678 votes we got Sloth, and ‘hold up is this right?’
    just a second folks” KEY KEY walks to the counters, they all shake in agreement. “With 32,678 votes
    Cougar. We have a tie. I can’t believe it!”

At first Cougar and Sloth don’t know what to do, earlier that day they were unknown unappreciated bloods, now
they are the rising stars of the street. They figure they can’t let this go to waste.
Cougar and Sloth wait out the cheers and support they have gathered from the crowd, cause all they can think is,
Damn he can dance!

After an hour or so the crowd clears out. All that is left is Cougar and Sloth, while KEY KEY is in the corner
packing up his gear. They walk up to eachother and neither one can get a word in, “You go first” “No you go first”
finally Sloth speaks up. “I just can’t stop thinking about those moves you were throwing”,
        Cougar replies “Shit! Sloth, I thought i was the only one to carry the Bird Flu but damn!,
                those are some sick moves!”
        “I guess we were j.u.s.t meant to shake hips and move minds” Sloth states.
        Cougar smiles “I agree; you know Sloth?, I’ve never seen anyone deal out so many moves”
        “And i’ve never seen some one Stream line all those shakes in one!” Sloth bounces,
    KEY KEY Steps up “You know i need some promotion, and with moves like both of yours we could do some
            avian bird flu shit, for real.”
        “We need some name then you know?” The bloods state.
    KEY KEY Speaks    “Sorry, i a listening to your conversation the whole time and i got the perfect names for you both”
        “Cougar! you name gots to be ‘Cougar Stream’ you run rampant just like the water”
        “and Sloth! you gots ‘Sloth Dealer’ cause i ain’t never seen so much dealin’ in such little time”
   
The bloods look at each other, with expressions that can only mean immense thing to come.
    “Sloth Dealer, Cougar Stream!” KEY KEY states.
    “we gonna take this world, just like the f-n’ plague!”


……to be contiued.